It’s Monday…I KNOW!

August 19, 2008

Why is it that every Monday morning office dwellers find it necessary to remind themselves and their fellow co-workers that YES, it is in fact Monday?

I think I counted four different people who came up to my cube today with varying methods of reminding me it was Monday…like I could forget. I always know when it’s Monday because each Monday directly follows my Sunday night ritual of hysterically crying until I wear myself out enough to fall asleep.

The first co-worker approached me today and said – Another Monday…ugh! – Thanks for the reminder Sally Sorrowpants!

The second co-worker walked by cube asking – How are you today? I of course gave my usual lie of fine and then in order to be seen as polite (and hide the fact that I could actually care less) I asked – how are you today? To which she responded, As good as I can  be for a Monday!

The 3rd co-worker walked up to me and announced…Monday’s suck. To which all I could think was DUH!

The 4th co-worker then decided it necessary to remind me that it was the worst day of the week by saying – I can’t believe it’s already Monday! ?! Okay, I get it already!

i think it’s time that all of us in the CUBE JUNGLE accept that YES, IT IS MONDAY and move on. Feel free to secretly loathe it all you want…I know I will, but please stop reminding me of a fact I know all to be too well – it’s Monday again. And there isn’t anything you can say to change that.

Here are 5 ways to sit in your cubicle and appear as though you are working, even when you’re not:

  1. Always have papers with highlighted sections around you so that at any time you can pick one up and pretend to read intently.
  2. Always have something work-related minimized on your computer screen so that you can pull it up quickly when a co-worker or boss enters your cube. We realize you spend most of your time on social networking sites, shopping online and/or IMing with friends, but your boss and co-workers don’t have to know that.
  3. Practice looking as though you are in deep, analytical thought while looking at your computer screen. This way you look as though you care, even when you really don’t. You can obtain this look by squinting your eyes slightly while leaning in toward your screen. It also helps to rest your thumb on your chin while tapping your index finger on your lips.
  4. Respond to emails from your boss or manager promptly. This may mean you have to get off of your Myspace page or Perezhilton.com for a minute or two, but believe me…it’s worth it.
  5. Invest in a privacy screen for your computer. This is especially important if your back is toward the opening of your cube. That way when those nosey co-workers or managers approach your cube, they aren’t able to see exactly what you’re doing. It buys you some time to minimize your personal email or fantasy football team standings before anyone can make out what’s on your screen. If someone asks why you have a privacy sceen…and they will, tell them it’s really an ANTI-GLARE screen because the brightness of your computer screen was giving you “terrible” headaches.