Okay, so this may be a disgusting topic, but it needs to be discussed.

I need to know which co-worker of mine frequently drops deuces in our shared restroom and then just gets up and leaves them there for everyone to see? I realize I’ve asked this question before, but I’ve never received an answer so I’m asking again.  PLEASE identify yourself for the DEUCE neglect-er that you are!

Are you quite proud of your creation and want to share it or something? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but NO ONE WANTS TO SEE IT! It never ceases to force my gag reflex into overdrive each time I walk into a stall only to find the masterpiece that you left behind. Isn’t flushing the toilet an automatic for you? It seems to be for the rest of the universe. Whoever was in charge of your toilet training should be sentenced to live the remaining years of his or her life in an outhouse that’s been frequently used by individuals suffering from IBS. 

We are all adults in this cube jungle! Last I checked, we work with no babies, toddlers, or elderly people who are unable to control their bowels or are so plagued by arthritis that they cannot position their hands to flush a toilet.

So please, stop the insanity! FLUSH YOUR DEUCES!

It’s Monday…I KNOW!

August 19, 2008

Why is it that every Monday morning office dwellers find it necessary to remind themselves and their fellow co-workers that YES, it is in fact Monday?

I think I counted four different people who came up to my cube today with varying methods of reminding me it was Monday…like I could forget. I always know when it’s Monday because each Monday directly follows my Sunday night ritual of hysterically crying until I wear myself out enough to fall asleep.

The first co-worker approached me today and said – Another Monday…ugh! – Thanks for the reminder Sally Sorrowpants!

The second co-worker walked by cube asking – How are you today? I of course gave my usual lie of fine and then in order to be seen as polite (and hide the fact that I could actually care less) I asked – how are you today? To which she responded, As good as I can  be for a Monday!

The 3rd co-worker walked up to me and announced…Monday’s suck. To which all I could think was DUH!

The 4th co-worker then decided it necessary to remind me that it was the worst day of the week by saying – I can’t believe it’s already Monday! ?! Okay, I get it already!

i think it’s time that all of us in the CUBE JUNGLE accept that YES, IT IS MONDAY and move on. Feel free to secretly loathe it all you want…I know I will, but please stop reminding me of a fact I know all to be too well – it’s Monday again. And there isn’t anything you can say to change that.

This is just great! And oh so true. Younger people in offices across the US care very little about office bs…we’d rather you just leave us alone and give us more days off!

Click on the link below and check out this video from The Onion News Network.

Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics

 

(use me…don’t abuse me)

As if it isn’t bad enough that I am forced to spend 8-9 hours a day in this cube jungle with all of you, I now have to wonder who leaves behind the butt resin on the restroom toilet seats. I realize that this sounds crude, but how would you like being the one to walk into a restroom stall and see it first hand?  

Why is it so hard for adults to pick up after themselves? I’m trying really hard not to judge here and not ask where this “resin” is coming from. Instead, I only ask that after you are finished with your “business,” you turn around, flush the toilet and make sure that you didn’t leave anything behind. It’s only fair to everyone else. This also goes for you lovely ladies who must enjoy peeing on the toilet seats and/or leaving your “business” un-flushed for everyone to see. Whether you’re acting out because you weren’t held enough as a child or are doing it for attention in hopes of receiving some kind of praise for a job well done, it needs to stop.  Outside of the K9 world, marking your territory is seen as just plain gross.

They say that men are dirtier than women, but the women I work with seem to be working really hard to catch up!

You can dirty-up your bathroom all you want at home, just please pick up after yourself in the restroom at work.