Eating at your desk…

April 9, 2009

It never fails that every time I decide to eat lunch at my desk one of my coworkers will walk up to me and want to smell my lunch.  They usually approach with their noses leading the way and say, “Yum, that smells good. What is it?” while they lean over my food and invade my personal space.  I can’t understand the curiosity since what I’m eating is never interesting or even tasty for that matter. I usually eat Lean Cuisines or Healthy Choice lunches at my desk and we all know how delicious those are. But despite dining on pre-packaged frozen garbage, my coworkers can’t help but peak in my cube and breath in its microwaved aroma. And their curiosity only depresses me more because it conjures up memories of a simpler and skinnier time when I could go out for lunch and eat normal food like sandwiches, tacos and pizza without having to worry about the extra pounds and chins this type of food will cause. And their disturbance also forces me back to the work day reality that it’s only lunch time and that I’m stuck in my cube for another 5 long hours.

Maybe I'd rather just be fat.

Maybe I'd rather just be fat.

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Here are 5 ways to sit in your cubicle and appear as though you are working, even when you’re not:

  1. Always have papers with highlighted sections around you so that at any time you can pick one up and pretend to read intently.
  2. Always have something work-related minimized on your computer screen so that you can pull it up quickly when a co-worker or boss enters your cube. We realize you spend most of your time on social networking sites, shopping online and/or IMing with friends, but your boss and co-workers don’t have to know that.
  3. Practice looking as though you are in deep, analytical thought while looking at your computer screen. This way you look as though you care, even when you really don’t. You can obtain this look by squinting your eyes slightly while leaning in toward your screen. It also helps to rest your thumb on your chin while tapping your index finger on your lips.
  4. Respond to emails from your boss or manager promptly. This may mean you have to get off of your Myspace page or Perezhilton.com for a minute or two, but believe me…it’s worth it.
  5. Invest in a privacy screen for your computer. This is especially important if your back is toward the opening of your cube. That way when those nosey co-workers or managers approach your cube, they aren’t able to see exactly what you’re doing. It buys you some time to minimize your personal email or fantasy football team standings before anyone can make out what’s on your screen. If someone asks why you have a privacy sceen…and they will, tell them it’s really an ANTI-GLARE screen because the brightness of your computer screen was giving you “terrible” headaches.